Don't Write in Crayon

The short opinion in Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp, Inc., 147 F.Supp.2d 668 (S.D.Tex. 2001) on statutes of limitations and the Erie doctrine is worth a read for every lawyer interested in learning what not to do in drafting motions.  Both the plaintiff’s motion and one defendant’s motion suffered from a lack of either supporting authority or analysis.  The dry, sarcastic tone of the entire opinion is hilarious.  My favorite sentence:

Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact—complete with hats, handshakes, and cryptic words—to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed.

Id. at 670.